A letter from Mariella to Heaven

My beloved daughter,

If you are reading this, it will have been a few years since I wrote it. Five, ten .. Who knows. I’m going to tell you something …

There has been no time when I have thought that it is not worth it. Despite the difficulties of day to day, this fear that settled with suitcases and sleeping slippers in my heart. Despite the fact that on many occasions I have had to smile at that tight lump that lives in my throat. Despite not knowing what the future holds, and that dreaming has been a complicated challenge.

Despite that feeling of joy, always mitigated by fear …

You are the most important mission in my life.

I don’t want you to be sad reading this. Mom has been very happy. I have laughed a lot. I have learned to be a MOTHER. So, with capital letters. Because between therapies, medical check-ups, and hospital rooms, I have felt that being a mother is more than raising a daughter.

Being a mother is hugging you, and telling you softly that everything will be fine, when your heart shrinks with each word.

Being a mother is accompanying you while you suffer, in those endless reviews, and smiling at you while your tears escape unintentionally.

Being a mother is looking at you while you sleep, and asking all the gods to help you be the happiest person on earth.

To be a mother, your mother, is to wake up with the purpose of fighting, every day, every second, even when your forces want to abandon you.

Being your mother, my daughter, is the best gift that life has given me.

When you read this, my daughter, take my hand. I will continue to be here. Look at me. Even if you are very old, hug me. Like when you were little. And you made me touch the stars in every kiss.

I love you.

Since I knew that you would be my little treasure.